Terminally on the Upswing (Betty LaLuna on facebook)

My charming friend on facebook put a great phrase together, "terminally on the upswing."  Coming from a Hell in the darkest quivering evolutionary quicksand of a narcissist/psychopath, many of us as survivors/targets (Thomas Sheridan) find that apathy tends to rein for some time after mental salvation.  That place on a rock just at the edge of this other-worldy landscape with bleak colors and fear tinged outlines, is but the first stage of ending the repetitive madness of "leaving the known."  It is so difficult to find the delightful push for enthusiasm.  I can understand my traveling journeyers in this excursion into Hades.  This has been a trap for me in so many ways.  I remember a terrific "X-files" where the two great main characters are overcome by a neurological chemical while the tree roots and fungi begin to "digest" them.  In their consciousnesses, they are connected and  recognize the peril.  So, they free themselves - or so they believe.

Oddities of "life" continue until one BELIEVES that they are now living in a self-promulgated fantasy - AND they are STILL caught and under ground.  They actually must have help from friends on the outside of this nether reality to make it back to our existence.

Betty LaLuna and her host of camaraderie are "friends."  As from the line in the movie "Random Hearts," (and I  paraphrase here) "Just friends?  We are surely friends.  And so much more - because of all we have experienced separately and together." And finding our way back!

This "return to the living" is a struggle.  I find I can rest in apathy for Long periods...much too long.  However, we reach out to each other...we fill the energy and humor in this connecting spiderweb of affinity and appreciation for the beings we are...survivors and however we move forward, there will ALWAYS be this link of gratitude.